Squirrel Assault Course? You must be nuts!
In the press this week, Prince Charles suggested that grey squirrels be culled to protect our native red squirrels.
'That's discrimination,' I said to my son, Christian.
'What is?' he asked.
'This article,' I said, showing him the headline. 'It talks about reds and greys but not a single word about black squirrels!'
I know what you're thinking. There's no such thing as a black squirrel. If you live in my part of Hertfordshire you wouldn't say that. We no longer have red squirrels but get lots of greys and even the occasional black. Prince Charles seems to think that greys have replaced reds in some sort of bushy tailed coup, but if you look at the grey squirrels' fur in bright sunlight, you'll detect red hued patches that suggest to me greys may not be the bad guys his princeship makes out. My theory is that the native red females have been a little too friendly with the tourists, if you know what I mean?
But back to the black squirrels. We have one that comes into our back garden every morning like clockwork. Mostly on the hunt for nuts in the bird feeders we put out. We get greys too, but this black one is by far the cleverest. Don't believe me? Well check out the squirrel assault course my son and I constructed to prove it. We used an old clothes line, a few bits of wood, some trellis and lots of sticky-back plastic to create a homemade black squirrel assault course that even Blue Peter would be proud of.
So Mr Prince Charles, if ever a species deserves to be saved on the basis of intelligence and physical aptitude, perhaps we should be worried about our own race and not our nut collecting friends. In my opinion, and in my garden, I say, 'The darker the squirrel the better!'
(Video file size - 14Mb)