'And now we're going live to Beijing where our reporter, Bob Greenback, is outside the Forbidden City awaiting sight of the newly re-instated Emperor. We apologise to viewers for the lack of picture on this report; a technical glitch means we have sound only. Hello, Bob, are you there?'

'Yes I am, Fiona, and I've just heard that the Emperor is about to emerge for what will be his first public appearance in office.'

'Bob, there's been an awful lot of secrecy over the Emperor's choice of clothes for this prestigious event. Will he be wearing traditional Chinese robes or will he use this opportunity to reveal a more modern China...'

'I'm sorry, Fiona I must interrupt you there as the Emperor has just walked out. Oh, my word!'

'Bob?'

'Good Lord!'

'You seem impressed, Bob, almost speechless. Is the Emperor as impressive as we expected?'

'You could say that.'

'We need more specifics. Can you give us the bare bones of what he is wearing?'

'He's in a suit...of sorts. It's...difficult to reveal much on the phone, thank God, but his outfit is definitely one in the eye for all those fashion pundits out there.'

'How big is his entourage, Bob?'

'Large...very large!'

'Bob, the last time we saw the Chinese symbols of office was at a public exhibition right here in London. Can you describe them, now that they're on display for the world to see.'

'I think the Emperor's exhibiting the crown jewels to great effect right now, Fiona.'

'Do you think we'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future?'

'You can't get much more in the public eye than this, Fiona, and I'm sure his pictures are being flashed around the world as we speak.'

'Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for, Bob, but if you could sum up the scene before you in one sentence what would that be?'

'I think we can safely say that China has more than a wall to be proud of.'

'Thank you, Bob. That was Bob Greenback reporting about the biggest thing to hit Beijing since the Olympics.'